Today I decided that I would sit back and basically tell the world why I deserve to win this makeover. I am a little shy about doing this but at the same time I thought it is also a way for me to get out a lot that is going on in my life. That is part of what blogging is about.
I don't want to come off appearing depressing. My reasons for the makeover is to be able to once get the joy and peace back in my life that has been missing for so many years. For almost Seven years I have been depressed because of life situations first starting with my home burning down in Washington, DC which is how I ended up living in Baltimore, MD (I hate it here). At the time my house caught on fire I soon learned so many valuable lessons one get insurance, two never trust anyone, three Red Cross only puts you up for one night after that you are on your own. So began my life nightmare. My boys were in elementary school at the time of all this and my father-in-law at the time lived out here in Baltimore and knew of a Person who rented homes without a down payment. Pressed with needing a place to live my husband and I rented the home for the low low price of $575.00 for a three bedroom town house front and back yard and all the mice you could ever want. Yes I said mice come to find out after settling in the place was infested with them. There is no short to this story in order for me to just bring out all the details. I am terrified of mice and don't like anything that has any relation with mice right down to even a shall we say cute picture of one those things.
The first day we walked into the house I almost cried another thing I truly cannot stand is paneling well guess what every last room in this place had paneling. The house of gloom. No Fridge I asked the landlord where is the fridge he just laughed and said you have to get your own. Not mention no way could use the stove that was in this place. My husband soon broke down and cried screaming how he didn't work this hard to end up living this way. I did all I could to try and make the place a home but nothing worked. Now what I also didn't mention I know I am bouncing all over the place with this story but the house that burned only burned the bedroom upstairs which was our room. Everything downstairs was fine but the problem was the owner of the house which by the way we was renting with option to buy stole everything from us he locked us out of the house not even the police would help us told us we had to file a civil suit. My husband lost his job the next day after the fire he is a flooring installer and the company told him they couldn't let his problem become their problems after he asked to not be on the schedule because his house had just burned down.
After living in this hell hole mice infested place Baltimore began the down fall of my life. Never did I stop to realize that this had also taken a mental affect on my kids. They also hated living here. So to start naming the things that has occured in my life of living in Baltimore maybe I should list them before I go on, but instead for the first time instead of talking about everyone else I am going to talk about myself for a change.
I have had 3 what the doctors call mini strokes not even knowing that I had them. My health just started going down hill actually it took a nose dive. I have the worse teeth in my mouth that anyone could imagine because of past things that had happened to me (ex husband abused me and eventual tried killing me) not having a dental plan to get the necessary care my mouth needed, so I dont smile a lot I really don't like talking to anyone in public. At one point I felt as though my life was just over literally everything that gave me any type of joy seemed to have been snatched away. I learned not to buy nothing that I will not use so those days of buying pretty linens and nice dinnerware is just a no no. I don't have anything I call *that is for when company comes over* lol company never comes here nobody comes here except the one friend I have living out here that is Joyce other than that nobody visit. We long moved from the mouse house into a much better place actually I love this house just never had the money to buy the things I would love to have to really make it home starting with a sofa, I am a person who finds ways to make do with what I have. But it would really be nice for once to have a nice cozy place again.
I said I wouldnt talk about anyone but me this time I can't do it. My life I guess revolves around my kids which at this point in my life has been filled with heartaches. Most know the story about my youngest son being beaten, I only mention my other son and him joining the church but there is more to him that I just nevered talked about. It just pains me I guess some days I just dont feel much happiness right now most have stopped reading this and that is ok too. I am just rambling letting out my feelings doesn't much matter about a contest for a makeover those things only happen for other people. I watch extreme makeovers a few times on tv and would wish that could happen to me. That I could have my teeth fixed and have nice clothes to wear. Not mention to take away a ton of pounds I have collected over the years. Some days I just want to grab a bag throw some clothes in it and head for the door and keep going not looking back. I always tell folks to snatch joy I even try finding some to grab hold to just that it seems everytime I get a piece of it something finds a way to snatch it away. Maybe I might try later on with this right now none of what I am saying is making any sense.
I guess that is another reason I surf and read so many of you blogs. Your lives seem so wonderful and family life seem just peaceful and happy.